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Muslim Youth – Marriage, Education and Having Children

Written by abumuaawiyah on . Posted in Contemporary Issues, Family & Women, Fatawa-Rulings, Methodology - 'Manhaj', Morals and Manners - 'Akhlaaq', Pearls of Wisdom, Purification of The Soul, Scholars of Islam, Worship - 'Ibaadah'.

In The Name of Allah, The Most Merciful, The Bestower of Mercy.

Al-Allamah Rabee Bin Haadi Al-Madkhali, may Allah have mercy upon him, said, “If you are able to exercise patience and seek knowledge, then exercise patience- meaning, study before getting married, just as Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, said “Some people might be prevented from (seeking) knowledge due to marriage”. So, when he gets married, he abandons seeking knowledge and becomes relaxed, and tires himself (i.e. it becomes difficult for him to combine family responsibilities and seeking knowledge at the same time). But if he has the ability to combine the Maslahatayn (i.e. the benefits of marriage and seeking knowledge), then that is good, (as long as) he does not consider himself as one who might commit immoral deeds and fornicate. If this is the case (i.e. fears falling into evil), then -by Allah- it becomes more incumbent upon him to get married to protect himself and guard his chastity”.(1)

Question to Imam Muhammad Bin Salih Al-Uthaymeen, may Allah have mercy upon him, “If a young man delays marriage until he reaches 30 years of age while having the ability (to get married), is there anything incumbent upon him, because he wants to build his future and complete his education?

Response: Yes, something is incumbent upon him and it that he has followed the guidance of the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, “O young people! Whoever from among you is able to get married, then you should do so for verily it is the most effective in keeping the gazes lowered and maintaining chastity. [Sahih Muslim. Number 1400]

Thus, the Prophet commanded the youth to get married and clarified its benefits. The statement [i.e. the reason given] that he is preoccupied with studies and building his future is false. How many people were not at ease during their studies until after getting married! They found ease and enough provision, and restraint from looking at what Allah has forbidden, such as women, (forbidden) pictures etc. Therefore, my advice to the youth in general is that they should get married at the earliest opportunity by following the command of the Messenger of Allah and seek provision. This is because the married individual desires chastity and modesty, and Allah helps him, as it has been been stated in the narration, ‘It is a right Allah (has obligated upon Himself) to aid three (types of people)… and one of them is ‘the man who marries wanting chastity’.(2)

Imam Abdul Azeez Bin Baaz [may Allaah have mercy upon him] was asked about a husband and a wife who agreed not to have children and whether this is allowed? So, he responded, “This agreement of theirs is not permissible. As long as the woman is able (to bear children), then it is not permissible for them to do this because the Islamic legislation requires that the people give concern to bearing children and make the Ummah numerous. The Prophet [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him] said, ‘Marry the childbearing, loving woman for I shall outnumber the peoples by you on the Day of Resurrection’. In another wording (of this narration the Prophet said), ‘Outnumber (i.e. the followers of the other) Prophets on the Day of Judgement’. This is because by way of this (i.e. having many children) those who worship Allah among the Muslims will be numerous, the Ummah will be numerous and strong in opposing their enemies. It is not permissible for a man to abandon having children out of fear of either tiredness in seeking after a livelihood or due to difficulty, or due to expenditure, or due to a desire to enjoy one’s wife and other than that. It also not permissible for a woman to do this, rather it is obligated on both of them to pursue the means of having offspring -be eager to seek the means to having children so that the Ummah becomes numerous and to fulfil what the Prophet [peace and blessings of Allah be upon him] stated. However, if the woman either suffers a lot of pain due to an illness of the womb or she cannot give birth except by way of surgical operation, then this is an excuse to not have children. If the surgical operation [or caesarean] will harm her- it is feared that something will happen to her, and also if the children are many- born at close intervals and bringing them up becomes difficult upon her, then there is nothing to prevent her from taking some pills [or contraception] or some preventative measures for a year or two – the period of breastfeeding- so that she becomes strong enough to nurture the children and able to nurture the other newly born”. (3)

[1] http://www.rabee.net/ar/questions.php?cat=51&id=623 paraphrased.

[2] Fatawa Nur Alad Darb 728

[3] Audio link with transcript http://www.binbaz.org.sa/noor/11853 [NB: This is a general Fatwa, therefore married should ask the scholars about their specific circumstances, in order to receive specific ruling related to their situation].

Children do not Forget Their Early Lessons and Advice – Shaykh Al-‘Uthaymin

Written by abuaisha on . Posted in Aqeedah (Creed & Belief), Articles, Basics, Da'wah - Calling To Islam, Family & Women, Monotheism - Tawheed, Morals and Manners - 'Akhlaaq', Worship - 'Ibaadah'.

Al-‘Allaamah Ibn ‘Uthaymin (رحمه الله تعالى) said:

“The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said:

“O young boy, say Bismillah, and eat with your right hand.”

Know that when manners and etiquettes are taught to a child at a young age, they are not easily forgotten. A child will not forget what you teach him while he is young. However, when he grows older, it is possible that he may forget what you taught him, or even show some resistance. But whilst he is still young, he is more likely to be responsive and accepting of what you teach him.”

Sharh Riyadh as-Salihin, vol. 3, p. 172

Some etiquettes with the wife when returning home

Written by abumuaawiyah on . Posted in Basics, Family & Women, Methodology - 'Manhaj', Morals and Manners - 'Akhlaaq', Pearls of Wisdom, Scholars of Islam, Uncategorized, Worship - 'Ibaadah'.

In The Name of Allah, The Most Merciful, The Bestower of Mercy.

Once Jabir, may Allah be pleased with him, was returning from an expedition with the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, and he was riding fast in order to get home as he was newlywed, so the Prophet told him to slow down in order to give the women time to prepare themselves. Jabir said, “When we were about to enter (Al-Madinah), the Prophet said, ‘Wait so that you may enter in the afternoon so that the lady of unkempt hair may comb her hair and the one whose husband has been absent may shave her pubic region'”. [1]

Al-Allamah Salih Al-Fawzan, may Allah preserve him, said:

It is disliked to enter (i.e. the house) without seeking permission and giving salam, especially when returning from a journey. One should not come to his family and his wife unless they are aware of his entry, so that they may prepare themselves. He should not come to her suddenly, whilst she is in a state [i.e. physical appearance, clothing etc] in which she does not like her husband to see her. [2]

Abu Hurairah, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that the Messenger, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said: “Travelling is a portion of torment. It prevents one of you from your sleep, food, and drink. So when one of you fulfils his (need behind that travelling), then let him hurry back to his family” . [Muslim 1927]

Imam An-Nawawi, may Allah have mercy upon him, said: One is prevented from full sleep and its full enjoyment due (to) difficulties, tiredness, heat and cold, worries, fear, isolation from one family and rough (circumstances). Therefore, it is recommended that one returns to his family after fulfilling his business and does not delay his return due to something else  that is not important. [3]

[1]Al-Bukhari 5079]

[2] An Excerpt from It’haf at-Tullab Bi-Sharh Mandhoomah Al-Aadab. page 144

[3] An Excerpt from ‘Saheeh Muslim Bi-Sharh An-Nawawi 13/60. Publisher: Dar Al-Kotob Al-Ilmiyyah’ 1st edition 1421AH (Year 2000)

Gently tease our women with it, and sternly warn the men of our clans and tribes

Written by abumuaawiyah on . Posted in Family & Women, Morals and Manners - 'Akhlaaq'.

In The Name of Allah, The Most Merciful, The Bestower of Mercy.

Al-Allamah Abdur Rahman Bin Yahyah Al-Mu’allimee, may Allah have mercy upon him, said:

In this era of ours, you even see a woman who comes across an affair related to the religion – in which there is a difference of opinion between the mother of the believers Aa’isha and others amongst the companions, may Allah be pleased with all of them, thus, she defends Aa’isha’s position solely due to the fact that she is a woman like her. So, when she presumes and then claims that Aa’isha is correct and those men who oppose her position are mistaken, then in this is an affirmation of Aa’isha’s virtue over those men, which then becomes a virtue for women unrestrictedly and she receives some of that. And through this appears – to you – the underlying reasons behind the illegal partisanship of an Arab to an Arab, a Persian to a Persian, a Turk to a Turk and other than that.

Aathaar Ash-Shaikh Abdur Rahmaan Bin Yahyah Al-Mu’allimee. 11/294

The Comprehensive Message

Written by abumuaawiyah on . Posted in Aqeedah, Aqeedah (Creed & Belief), Basics, Bid'ah (Innovation), Brotherhood, Charity (Sadaqah), Contemporary Issues, Da'wah - Calling To Islam, Death, Deviated Groups, Sects and Parties, Eid, Family & Women, Fasting, Hajj, Dhul Hijjah, Eid al Adha, Hijrah (Migration), History of Islam, Innovations In Islam (Bidah), Islamic Jurisprudence - 'Fiqh', Jahannam (Hell Fire), Jannah (Paradise), Literature, Marriage (Nikkah), Mental Health, Methodology - 'Manhaj', Monotheism - Tawheed, Morals and Manners - 'Akhlaaq', Muharram and Ashoorah, Pearls of Wisdom, Prophets, Purification of The Soul, Qur'aan, Ramadhan, Refutations, Repentance, Sahaabah, Salaah - Prayer, Salaf As Saalih (Pious Predecessors), Salafi Mosques & Centres, Scholars of Islam, Seeking Knowledge, Shirk, Sin, Tamyee', Taraweeh, The Salaf - Pious Predecessors, Worship - 'Ibaadah', Zakaat, Zuhd (Abstinence).

In The Name of Allah, The Most Merciful, The Bestower of Mercy. 

Imam Ibn Al-Qayyim, may Allah have mercy upon him, said:

Muhammad’s, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, Ummah is not in need of anyone after him; rather the only need they have is someone to convey what he came with.

Muhammad’s message is comprehensive, universal and preserved. This universality, comprehensiveness and preservation is not limited to (any time, place or situation), rather it is comprehensive for those to whom Muhammad was sent [the whole world] and likewise with regards to everything that is needed in the fundamental and subsidiary issues of the religion.

Muhammad’s message is sufficient, all embracing and universal- nothing else is needed besides it. It has not isolated any affair of truth needed by his Ummah in their sciences and deeds. The Messenger of Allah did not leave this world until he acquainted his Ummah with everything. He even taught them the etiquettes of using the toilet; the etiquettes of sexual relations; the etiquettes of sleep and after waking up; the etiquettes of eating, drinking and travel.

He acquainted them with the etiquettes of speech and silence; the etiquettes of keeping company with the people and seclusion. He acquainted them with the affairs of illness, good health, poverty and wealth. He acquainted them with all the affairs of life and death. He described Allah’s throne, the angels, the jinn, the hell fire and the day of judgement in such a manner as if one has seen them with the naked eye. He informed them about their Lord and His Perfect Names and Attributes, and that Allah alone is their true object of worship.

He acquainted them with the Prophets of old and their nations – the events that took place between them and their nations – in such a manner as if one was present at that time. He acquainted them with all the means to good and the paths of evil- in general and in detail- which no other prophet informed his nation. He acquainted them with death and what will take place in the grave – either bliss or punishment. He acquainted them with the evidences and proofs of Tawhid [i.e. the oneness of Allah in His Lordship, Names and Attributes, and that Allah alone has the right to be worshipped].

He acquainted them with Prophet hood and the affairs of the Afterlife, and he refuted all the sects of disbelief and misguidance. He acquainted them with war strategies- how to confront the enemy, the way to achieve victory and conquests. If only they knew and understood these affairs in the correct manner [i.e. the manner it should be understood], they would not be overcome by their enemy. He acquainted them with the plots of Iblees and the ways through which he approaches them, and the ways to repel those plots and plans. He acquainted them with the soul- its characteristics and faults- in such a manner that they are not in need of anyone else to tell them about it. He taught them how to live their daily lives and had they acknowledged and acted upon this; their worldly affairs would be firmly established. He brought them all the means of success in this life and the next, and they do not need anyone besides him. So how can it be said that the path of Muhammad is in need of something else outside of it. The reason for such a claim is due to the weak and little understanding of a person. Allah [The Most High] said:

أَوَلَمْ يَكْفِهِمْ أَنَّا أَنزَلْنَا عَلَيْكَ الْكِتَابَ يُتْلَىٰ عَلَيْهِمْ ۚ إِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ لَرَحْمَةً وَذِكْرَىٰ لِقَوْمٍ يُؤْمِنُونَ

Is it not sufficient for them that We have sent down to you the Book (the Qur’an) which is recited to them? Verily, herein is mercy and a reminder (or an admonition) for a people who believe.

Allah [The Most High] said:

وَنَزَّلْنَا عَلَيْكَ الْكِتَابَ تِبْيَانًا لِّكُلِّ شَيْءٍ وَهُدًى وَرَحْمَةً وَبُشْرَىٰ لِلْمُسْلِمِينَ

And We have sent down to you the Book (the Qur’an) as an exposition of everything, a guidance, a mercy, and glad tidings for those who have submitted themselves (to Allah as Muslims).

Allah [The Most High] said:

يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ قَدْ جَاءَتْكُم مَّوْعِظَةٌ مِّن رَّبِّكُمْ وَشِفَاءٌ لِّمَا فِي الصُّدُورِ وَهُدًى وَرَحْمَةٌ لِّلْمُؤْمِنِينَ

O mankind! There has come to you a good advice from your Lord (i.e. the Qur’an, ordering all that is good and forbidding all that is evil), and a healing for that (disease of ignorance, doubt, hypocrisy and differences, etc.) in your breasts, – a guidance and a mercy (explaining lawful and unlawful things, etc.) for the believers.

An Excerpt from I’lam Al-Muwaqqi’een 4/375-377

So called “Women’s Day” – [Should be honoured every day, not just once a year]

Written by abumuaawiyah on . Posted in Contemporary Issues, Family & Women, Methodology - 'Manhaj', Morals and Manners - 'Akhlaaq', Pearls of Wisdom, Purification of The Soul, Scholars of Islam.

In The Name of Allah, The Most Merciful, The Bestower of Mercy.

Allah [The Exalted] said:

يَـٰٓأَيُّہَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱتَّقُواْ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُم مِّن نَّفۡسٍ۬ وَٲحِدَةٍ۬ وَخَلَقَ مِنۡہَا زَوۡجَهَا وَبَثَّ مِنۡہُمَا رِجَالاً۬ كَثِيرً۬ا وَنِسَآءً۬‌ۚ وَٱتَّقُواْ ٱللَّهَ ٱلَّذِى تَسَآءَلُونَ بِهِۦ وَٱلۡأَرۡحَامَ‌ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ عَلَيۡكُمۡ رَقِيبً۬ا

O mankind! Be dutiful to your Lord, Who created you from a single person (Adam), and from him (Adam) He created his wife [Hawwa (Eve)], and from them both He created many men and women and fear Allah through Whom you demand your mutual (rights), and (do not cut the relations of) the wombs (kinship) . Surely, Allah is Ever an All-Watcher over you. [Al-Nisaa. 1]

Allah [The Exalted] said:

يَـٰٓأَيُّہَا ٱلنَّاسُ إِنَّا خَلَقۡنَـٰكُم مِّن ذَكَرٍ۬ وَأُنثَىٰ وَجَعَلۡنَـٰكُمۡ شُعُوبً۬ا وَقَبَآٮِٕلَ لِتَعَارَفُوٓاْ‌ۚ إِنَّ أَڪۡرَمَكُمۡ عِندَ ٱللَّهِ أَتۡقَٮٰكُمۡ‌ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ عَلِيمٌ خَبِيرٌ۬

O people! We have created you from a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know one another. Verily, the most honourable of you with Allah is that (believer) who has more fear of Allah. Verily, Allah is All-Knowing, All-Aware. [Al-Hujurat. Verse 13]

The Prophet [peace and blessings of Allah be upon him] said, “Women are the twin halves (or counterparts of) men”. [Sahih Abu Dawood. No 236]

Meaning, they are twin halves of men as created beings and shaped by natural characteristics, as if they are the other halves from men because Hawaa, may peace be upon her, was created from Adam, peace be upon him.. [Mirqat Al-Mafatih Sharh Mishkat Al-Masabih 2/428]

Imam Muhammad Bin Salih Al-Uthaymin, may Allah have mercy upon him] said, “Women are the twin halves of men, meaning they are the other half from them, because a woman is the daughter of her father and a part from him, just as the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said, ‘Fatimah, may Allah be pleased with her, is from me’. The narration has another meaning, that ‘Twin halves (or counterpart) of men’ means the same as men with regards to what Allah has obligated to men and women where neither women nor men are specified.  [https://binothaimeen.net/content/11305 ]

Al-Miqdam Ibn Ma’dee, may Allah be pleased with him] said: Allah’s Messenger, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said, “Verily, Allah commands you to be good to women. Verily, Allah commands you to be good to women because they are your mothers, sisters your aunts'”. [Silsilah Al-Hadith as-Sahihah 2871]

Aa’isha, may Allah be pleased with him, said that Allah’s Messenger, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said to her, “O Aa’isha! Be gentle, for indeed when Allah wishes good for a household, He guides them to gentleness”.

Al-Allamah Zaid Bin Hadi al-Mad’khali, may Allah have mercy upon him, said, “This hadith contains proof regarding the fact that it is obligatory to give sincere advice and the first people one should give sincere advice is the members of the household- the wives, sons, daughters and others. Also this hadith contains proof regarding the virtue of gentleness in all affairs, for indeed gentleness is not found in any affair except that it beautifies it, and it is not removed from anything except that it damages it. On the other hand, the opposite of gentleness is warn against and it is the harshness that is applied in other than its rightful place, because its end result will be alienation and disharmony”. [at-Ta’liqat Al-Malihah Alaa Silsilah Al-Ahadith As-Sahihah 1/277]

Aai’sha, may Allah be pleased with him] said: “Allah’s Messenger, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, never struck anything with his hand- neither a woman nor a servant, unless he was fighting in the path of Allah”. [Ṣaḥih Muslim 2328]

Imam Ibn Qutaybah, may Allah have mercy upon him, said, “Marry your daughter to a man who fears Allah, because he will be kind if he loves her and will not oppress her when he is angry with her”.[Kitab Uyun Al Akhbar 3/308]

Males Are Different From Females

Allah [The Exalted] said: [ وَلَيۡسَ ٱلذَّكَرُ كَٱلۡأُنثَىٰ‌ۖ – And the male is not like the female]: Imam Muhammad Bin Salih Al-Uthaymin, may Allah have mercy upon him, said, “The males are not like the females – neither in their nature nor behaviour, nor with regards to how they are dealt with; rather not even with regards to rulings of the religion in some (cases, situations, circumstances etc). And when it is case that the male is not like the female, then also the female is not like the male. (1)

Cases Where The Same Rules Apply to Both Men and Woman

Imam Abdul Azeez Bin Baz, may Allah have mercy upon him, was asked: Is there a distinction between males and females regarding the manner in which the prayer should be performed?

Answer: Some of the scholars differentiate the prayer of the man and the woman, but what is correct is that the prayer of the woman is the same as that of the man. The manner she sits during the two Sujuds, during the last Tashahud, because Allah’s Messenger [peace and blessings of Allah be upon him] said, “Pray in the manner you have seen me pray”, but he did not say, “The women should do such and such”. Therefore, the what is that he (i.e. Prophet) is followed in both the prayer of a man and a woman and there is no evidence to differentiate between the two. (2)

Allah [The Exalted] said:

مَنْ عَمِلَ صَالِحًا مِّن ذَكَرٍ أَوْ أُنثَى وَهُوَ مُؤْمِنٌ فَلَنُحْيِيَنَّهُ حَيَاةً طَيِّبَةً وَلَنَجْزِيَنَّهُمْ أَجْرَهُم بِأَحْسَنِ مَا كَانُوا يَعْمَلُونَ

Whoever works righteousness, whether male or female, while he (or she) is a true believer (of Islamic Monotheism) verily, to (them) We will give a good life (in this world with respect, contentment and lawful provision), and We shall pay them certainly a reward in proportion to the best of what they used to do (i.e. Paradise in the Hereafter). [Surah An-Nahl. 97]

Allah [The Exalted] said:

وَٱلۡمُؤۡمِنُونَ وَٱلۡمُؤۡمِنَـٰتُ بَعۡضُهُمۡ أَوۡلِيَآءُ بَعۡضٍ۬‌ۚ يَأۡمُرُونَ بِٱلۡمَعۡرُوفِ وَيَنۡهَوۡنَ عَنِ ٱلۡمُنكَرِ وَيُقِيمُونَ ٱلصَّلَوٰةَ وَيُؤۡتُونَ ٱلزَّكَوٰةَ وَيُطِيعُونَ ٱللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ ۥۤ‌ۚ أُوْلَـٰٓٮِٕكَ سَيَرۡحَمُهُمُ ٱللَّهُ‌ۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ عَزِيزٌ حَكِيمٌ۬
وَعَدَ ٱللَّهُ ٱلۡمُؤۡمِنِينَ وَٱلۡمُؤۡمِنَـٰتِ جَنَّـٰتٍ۬ تَجۡرِى مِن تَحۡتِهَا ٱلۡأَنۡهَـٰرُ خَـٰلِدِينَ فِيہَا وَمَسَـٰكِنَ طَيِّبَةً۬ فِى جَنَّـٰتِ عَدۡنٍ۬‌ۚ وَرِضۡوَٲنٌ۬ مِّنَ ٱللَّهِ أَڪۡبَرُ‌ۚ ذَٲلِكَ هُوَ ٱلۡفَوۡزُ ٱلۡعَظِيمُ

The believers, men and women, are Auliya’ (helpers, supporters, friends, protectors) of one another, they enjoin (on the people) Al-Ma’ruf (i.e. Islamic Monotheism and all that Islam orders one to do), and forbid (people) from Al-Munkar (i.e. polytheism and disbelief of all kinds, and all that Islam has forbidden); they perform the prayer and give the Zakat, and obey Allah and His Messenger. Allah will have His Mercy on them. Surely Allah is All-Mighty, All-Wise. Allah has promised to the believers -men and women, – Gardens under which rivers flow to dwell therein forever, and beautiful mansions in Gardens of ‘Adn (Eden Paradise). But the greatest bliss is the Good Pleasure of Allah. That is the supreme success. [at-Tawbah. 71-72]

Allah [The Exalted] said:

هَلۡ يَنظُرُونَ إِلَّا ٱلسَّاعَةَ أَن تَأۡتِيَهُم بَغۡتَةً۬ وَهُمۡ لَا يَشۡعُرُونَ
ٱلۡأَخِلَّآءُ يَوۡمَٮِٕذِۭ بَعۡضُهُمۡ لِبَعۡضٍ عَدُوٌّ إِلَّا ٱلۡمُتَّقِينَ
يَـٰعِبَادِ لَا خَوۡفٌ عَلَيۡكُمُ ٱلۡيَوۡمَ وَلَآ أَنتُمۡ تَحۡزَنُونَ
ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ بِـَٔايَـٰتِنَا وَڪَانُواْ مُسۡلِمِينَ
ٱدۡخُلُواْ ٱلۡجَنَّةَ أَنتُمۡ وَأَزۡوَٲجُكُمۡ تُحۡبَرُونَ
يُطَافُ عَلَيۡہِم بِصِحَافٍ۬ مِّن ذَهَبٍ۬ وَأَكۡوَابٍ۬‌ۖ وَفِيهَا مَا تَشۡتَهِيهِ ٱلۡأَنفُسُ وَتَلَذُّ ٱلۡأَعۡيُنُ‌ۖ وَأَنتُمۡ فِيهَا خَـٰلِدُونَ
وَتِلۡكَ ٱلۡجَنَّةُ ٱلَّتِىٓ أُورِثۡتُمُوهَا بِمَا كُنتُمۡ تَعۡمَلُونَ
لَكُمۡ فِيہَا فَـٰكِهَةٌ۬ كَثِيرَةٌ۬ مِّنۡهَا تَأۡكُلُونَ

Do they only wait for the Hour that it shall come upon them suddenly, while they perceive not? Friends on that Day will be foes one to another except the pious. (It will be said to the true believers of Islamic Monotheism): My worshippers! No fear shall be on you this Day, nor shall you grieve, (you) who believed in Our Ayat (proofs, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) and were Muslims (i.e. who submit totally to Allah’s Will, and believe in the Oneness of Allah – Islamic Monotheism). Enter Paradise, you and your wives, in happiness. Trays of gold and cups will be passed round them, (there will be) therein all that the one’s inner-selves could desire, all that the eyes could delight in, and you will abide therein forever. This is the Paradise which you have been made to inherit because of your deeds which you used to do (in the life of the world). Therein for you will be fruits in plenty, of which you will eat (as you desire). [Az-Zukhruf 66-73]

Freedom For Women 

Firstly, a true believer understands freedom in a manner that is pleasing to the Creator. Abu Hurairah, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “The worldly life is a prison for the believer (in Allah and the final Messenger) and a paradise for the disbeliever (in Allah and the final Messenger)”. (3)

Imam An-Nawawi, may Allah have mercy be upon him] said: Every believer is imprisoned and prevented – in the worldly life – from evil and repugnant desires and obligated to perform demanding acts of obedience. But after death, he relaxes and receives what Allah [The Exalted] promised of permanent bliss and perfect relaxation. As for the disbeliever [in Allaah and the final Messenger], he gets what he receives in the worldly life together with the fact that it is very little and disrupted by distress. And after he dies, he finds himself in permanent punishment and eternal wretchedness. (4)

Imam Muhammad Ibn Salih Al-Uthaymin, may Allah have mercy upon him] said: Regardless how great the affair of the worldly life is – its good days and its dwelling places (surrounded by beautiful trees, plants, scenery etc), then indeed it is like a prison for the believer, because a believer looks forward to a bliss that is better, more perfect and loftier. As for the disbeliever [in Allah and the final Messenger], the worldly life is his paradise because he enjoys himself in it [i.e. outside the boundaries of halaal and haraam] and forgets the afterlife, and thus becomes like those about whom Allah [The Exalted] stated:

وَٱلَّذِينَ كَفَرُواْ يَتَمَتَّعُونَ وَيَأۡكُلُونَ كَمَا تَأۡكُلُ ٱلۡأَنۡعَـٰمُ وَٱلنَّارُ مَثۡوً۬ى لَّهُمۡ

Those who disbelieve enjoy themselves and eat as cattle eat, and the Fire will be their abode. [Surah Muhammad Aayah 12]

Therefore, when the disbeliever dies, he does not find anything in front of him except the fire and Allah’s punishment, and woe to the people of the fire. So that which is found in the worldly life of distress, grief, sadness and sorrow is like a paradise in relation to the state of affairs of the disbeliever [in Allah and the final Messenger], because he will leave this world to receive Allah’s punishment.

It has been mentioned about Ibn Hajar Al Asqalani – the author of Fat’hul Baari – that he used to be the chief of the judges in Egypt in his era, and he used go past the market with an entourage. So, one day a Yahudi stopped him and said, “Your Prophet said, ‘The worldly life is a prison of the believer and paradise of the disbeliever’, and how can this be the case whilst you are in a state of luxury and joy, and I am in a state of extreme poverty and low status?” So, Ibn Hajr said to him, “If in your view I am in state of joy and that people are at my service, then this state is a prison in comparison to what a believer will receive of bliss in Paradise. As for yourself, even though you are in state of extreme poverty and low status, then it is like paradise in comparison to what a disbeliever will receive in the fire”. So, the Yahudi was amazed by this statement and then testified that there is no deity worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah. (5)

Therefore, we say to the ideologues, “Yes indeed freedom is a valuable thing and that is why the believers utilize it to perform deeds that will benefit them in the afterlife, and strive to distance themselves from the chief deceiver shaytan, because either a person willingly submits to Allah or he is enslaved by other things – desires etc.

Imam Muhammad Ibn Salih Al-Uthaymin, may Allah have mercy upon him, said: If a free person says that he is liberated (or free) and intends by it freedom from slavery to the creation, then yes he is free from slavery to the creation. However, if he intends by this that he is liberated (freed) from servitude to Allah [The Mighty and Majestic], then indeed he has erred in his understanding of servitude and he does not understand the meaning of freedom because servitude to other than Allah is bondage. As for servitude to Allah [The Mighty and Majestic], then this is real freedom because if he does not humble himself to Allah, he will humble himself to other than Allah. So he deceives himself when he says that he is free [or liberated]- meaning: he is liberated from obedience to Allah. (6)

The Imam also said, “Women are portrayed as if they are mere images- pictures which people attached no importance to except that which is connected to the woman’s figure (outward appearance). See how they have decorated and beautified her! See how they have brought about beautifications for her and presented her in a desirable condition, in relation to (her) hair, skin, legs, arms, face and everything else; until they make it the most important issue for the woman, like a picture made out of plastic. They neither present to her the importance of establishing Ibadah nor bearing children”. (7)

The Islamic Ruling On Days Specified For Such and Such Celebrations

Imam Muhammad Ibn Salih Al-Uthaymin, may Allah have mercy upon him] said, “Everything that is taken as a day of day of celebration (festival, annual celebrations), repeated every week and every year and is not legislated in Islaam, then it is tantamount to a Bidah [innovation in religious]. Therefore, to make these celebrations (festivals) that are repeated every week or every year means that they [i.e. the people who do so] have likened them to Islamic festivals [days of celebrations, days set aside for religious observance] and this is forbidden. There is nothing in Islam related to festivals (celebrations) except Eid Al-Fitr, Eid Al-Adha, (and a day specified for a specific religious observance which is) Friday. (8)

Women in Islam – By Shaikh Abu Khadeejah [may Allaah preserve him]

https://www.salafisounds.com/women-in-islam-by-abu-khadeejah/https://www.salafisounds.com/women-in-islam-by-abu-khadeejah/

Be Aware Regarding the Rights of Women
https://www.salafisounds.com/be-aware-regarding-the-rights-of-women-by-abu-khadeejah/

The Muslim Woman In A Modern World
https://www.salafisounds.com/the-muslim-woman-in-a-modern-world-by-abu-khadeejah-abdul-wahid/

We ask Allah to protect us and our families from the call of those who seek to corrupt the sound natural disposition created in us by our Lord Aameen. We ask Allah:

 رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَٰجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّٰتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَٱجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا

“Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders for the pious.”

رَبِّ ٱجْعَلْنِى مُقِيمَ ٱلصَّلَوٰةِ وَمِن ذُرِّيَّتِى رَبَّنَا وَتَقَبَّلْ دُعَآءِ

“O my Lord! Make me one who performs As-Salat (Iqamat-as-Salat), and (also) from my offspring, our Lord! And accept my invocation.

رَبِّ أَوْزِعْنِي أَنْ أَشْكُرَ نِعْمَتَكَ الَّتِي أَنْعَمْتَ عَلَيَّ وَعَلَىٰ وَالِدَيَّ وَأَنْ أَعْمَلَ صَالِحًا تَرْضَاهُ وَأَصْلِحْ لِي فِي ذُرِّيَّتِي ۖ إِنِّي تُبْتُ إِلَيْكَ وَإِنِّي مِنَ الْمُسْلِمِينَ

“O my Lord, grant me the ability to be grateful to you for Your favour (of guidance) which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents, and to work righteousness that pleases You, and make righteous for me my offspring. Indeed, I repent to you and I am of the Muslims (in submission to You alone).”

Judy asked a question

Written by abumuaawiyah on . Posted in Basics, Contemporary Issues, Da'wah - Calling To Islam, Family & Women, Morals and Manners - 'Akhlaaq', Purification of The Soul, Worship - 'Ibaadah'.

In The Name of Allah, The Most Merciful, The Bestower of Mercy.

The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said,

“I have been sent to perfect good character”. [1]

“Do you believe that the importance in your country of Islam complicates your ability to do something, to take a stronger stand against violence against women”. [Footnote a]

This is one of the questions posed by Aunty Judy Woodruff to a former Prime Minister of a Muslim country, bringing attention to a crucial issue. It raises the possibility that this inquiry stemmed from a journalistic duty to address misunderstandings or perhaps a genuine lack of awareness about the profound teachings of Islam that advocate for the respectful treatment of women, as highlighted in the sacred texts.

The Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him] said, “Women are the twin halves (or counterparts of) men”. [2]

Meaning, they are twin halves of men as created beings, as if they are the other halves from men because Hawwaa, may peace be upon her, was created from Adam, peace be upon him.. [3]

Imam Muhammad Bin Salih Al-Uthaymeen, may Allah have mercy upon him, said, “Women are the twin halves of men, meaning they are the other half from them because a woman is the daughter of her father and a part from him, just as the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said, ‘Fatimah is from me’. The narration has another meaning – that ‘Twin halves (or counterpart) of men’ means that they are same as men in what Allah has obligated to men with regards those affairs that have not been specified for men or women. [4]

Al-Miqdam Ibn Ma’dee, may Allah be pleased with him, said: Allah’s Messenger, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said: “Verily, Allah commands you to be good to women. Verily, Allah commands you to be good to women because they are your mothers, sisters your aunts”. [5]

Abu Hurairah, may Allah be pleased with him, reported: I invited my mother, who was a polytheist, to Islam. I invited her one day and she said to me something about Allah’s Messenger, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, which I hated. I came to Allah’s Messenger weeping and said: “Allah’ Messenger, I invited my mother to Islam but she did not accept (my invitation). I invited her today but she said to me something which I did not like. (Kindly) supplicate Allah that He may set the mother of Abu Huraira right. Thereupon Allah’s Messenger said: “O Allah, set the mother of Abu Huraira on the right path”. I came out quite pleased with the supplication of Allah’s Prophet and when I came near the door it was closed from within. My mother, may Allah be pleased with her, heard the noise of my footsteps and she said: “Abu Huraira, just wait”, and I heard the noise of falling of water. She took a bath and put on the shirt and quickly covered her head with a headdress and opened the door and then said: “Abu Huraira, I bear witness to the fact that there is none worthy of worship (in truth) but Allah and Muhammad is His slave and His Messenger”. He (Abu Huraira) said: I went back to Allah’s Messenger and (this time) I was shedding the tears of joy. I said: Allah’s Messenger, be happy, for Allah has responded to your supplication and He has set on the right path the mother of Abu Huraira. He (the Prophet) praised Allah, and extolled Him and uttered good words. I said: Allah’s Messenger, supplicate to Allah so that He may instill love of mine and that of my mother too in the believing servants and let our hearts be filled with their love, whereupon Allah’s Messenger said: O Allah, let there be love of these servants of yours, i. e. Abu Huraira and his mother, in the hearts of the believing servants and let their hearts be filled with the love of the believing servants. (Abu Huraira said: This prayer) was so well granted by Allah that no believer was ever born who heard of me and who saw me but did not love me. [Sahih Muslim 2491]

Abu Umamah, may Allah be pleased with him, said: A young man came to the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, and said, “O Allah’s Messenger! Allow me to commit illegal sexual intercourse”. The people turned to him to rebuke him and told him keep quiet. The Prophet moved closer to him and he sat down. The Prophet said, “Would you like that for your mother?” He said, “By Allah! No. may Allah make me your ransom”. He said, “The people do not like it for their mothers either”. Then he said, “Would you like it for your daughter?” He said, “By Allah! No. May Allah make me your ransom”. He said, “The people do not like it for their daughters either”. He said, “Would you like it for your sister?” He said, “By Allah! No. May Allah make me your ransom”. He said, “The people do not like it for their sisters either”. He said, “Would you like it for your paternal aunt?” He said, “By Allah! No. May Allah make me your ransom”. He said: “The people do not like it for their paternal aunts either”. He said, “Would you like it for your maternal aunt?” He said, “By Allah! No. May Allah make me your ransom”. He said, “The people do not like it for their maternal aunts either”. Then he placed his hand on him and said, “O Allah! Forgive his sins and cleanse his heart, and protect his chastity”. And after that the young man never thought of any such thing again. [6]

It’s important to clarify that the injustices faced by women at the hands of men are not rooted in Islam itself. Instead, they stem from cultural practices. A true Muslim should not follow any cultural traditions that contradict the teachings of Islam. A Muslim is not allowed to adhere to any cultural norms that oppose Islam. Examining the statistics on domestic violence, rape, and sexual harassment across various societies, including the USA, may reveal numerous underlying factors contributing to these issues. However, it is clear that a significant reason lies in the absence of fear of Allah and the inclination towards un-Islamic customs. It’s essential for anyone looking to make a judgement or grasp issues in a Muslim country to first understand what Islam teaches about the topic, supported by unambiguous evidence, rather than relying solely on the local customs and behaviours. Failing to make this distinction can lead to a mix-up between Islam and cultural practices. Scholars have strongly highlighted the importance of differentiating between un-Islamic cultural habits and the principles that Islam outlines for our interactions.

Imam Ash-Shatibi, may Allah have mercy upon him, stated in Al-Muwaafaqaat that customs are many different types- some are good and others are corrupt. The good customs are those that neither oppose the Shariah texts nor lead to losing an affair deem to be beneficial by the Shariah, nor lead to an affair which the Shariah deems to be corrupt. As for the corrupt customs, they are those that oppose the evidences in the Shariah or some of the principles of the Shariah, such as some of the customary dealings in usury and those deeds deemed to be evil by the Shariah which the people engage in during occasions of happiness (or rejoicing etc). [7]

Imam Ibn Al-Qayyim, may Allah have mercy upon him, said:

Hardship is only encountered by the one who abandons the Maloofaat and Awaa’id [i.e. those habitual things, deeds, practices, customs etc] for other than the sake of Allah. As for the one who abandons them truthfully and sincerely from the bottom of his heart- for the sake of Allah alone- then indeed he does not encounter any difficulty due to abandoning them except in the beginning, in order that he is tested as to whether he is truthful or untruthful in abandoning them? If he exercises a little bit of patience, its [i.e. that abandonment] will alternate into pleasure. Ibn Seereen said that he heard Shurayh swearing by Allah that “A servant does not abandon anything for the sake of Allah and finds a loss in that.” And their statement [i.e. the people of knowledge] that ‘whoever abandons something for the Sake of Allah, Allah will replace it with what is better.” This is true. This compensation is of different types and the best of that which a person is compensated with is: the desire and yearning to get close to Allah, seeking after Allah’s pleasure, love of Allah, and the heart granted-by way of it- tranquility, strength, enthusiasm, happiness and being pleased with its Lord [The Most High]. [8]

Imam Abdul Azeez Bin Baaz, may Allah have mercy upon him, said:

It is obligated to every Muslim that he does not depend on custom; rather he presents it to the pure Islamic legislation (to be judged), thus, whatever the Islamic legislation affirms is permissible and whatever it does not affirm is impermissible. The customs of the people are not proof to determine the lawfulness of anything. All the customs of the people in their countries or tribes must be presented to the Book of Allah and the Sunnah of His Messenger [peace and blessings of Allah be upon him] for judgement, so whatever Allah and His Messenger made permissible is permissible, and whatever they forbid, then it is obligatory to abandon it even if it is the custom of the people. [9]

Imam Muhammad Bin Salih Al-Uthaymeen, may Allah have mercy upon him, said:

The customs cannot make something that is not legislated (in the divine revelation) as something legislated, because of Allah’s statement: [وَلَيۡسَ ٱلۡبِرُّ بِأَن تَأۡتُواْ ٱلۡبُيُوتَ مِن ظُهُورِهَا – It is not Al-Birr (piety, righteousness, etc.) that you enter the houses from the back] [Surah Al-Baqarah. Aayah 189], despite the fact that it was something they took as their custom and considered it to be an act of righteousness. Whoever takes something as a custom and believes that it is an act of righteousness, then it should be presented to Allah’s divine legislation. [10]

Imam Muhammad Bin Salih Al-Uthaymeen, may Allah have mercy upon him, also said:

Extremism related to customs is stringent adherence to old customs and not diverting to what is better than them. As for if the customs are equal in benefit [i.e. the ones judged to be permissible by the divine legislation], a person remaining upon what he is upon would be better than going along with the new (or emerging) customs. [11]

Listen to Lectures About Good Treatment of Women and Their Role In The Modern 

https://www.salafisounds.com/the-muslim-woman-in-a-modern-world-by-abu-khadeejah-abdul-wahid/

https://www.salafisounds.com/the-muslim-woman-in-a-modern-world-by-abu-khadeejah-abdul-wahid/

https://www.salafisounds.com/women-in-islam-by-abu-khadeejah/

https://www.salafisounds.com/good-treatment-of-the-wife-by-abu-idrees/

https://www.salafisounds.com/means-to-a-happy-life-a-righteous-wife-khutbah-by-abu-idrees/

https://www.abukhadeejah.com/what-is-reported-in-the-book-and-sunnah-regarding-the-good-treatment-of-parents/

——————————————

Footnote a: https://youtu.be/ZcIoQwf8qJg at 16mins 56secs onwards.

[1] al-Muwaṭṭa’ 1614

[2] Saheeh Abu Dawood. No 236. Publisher Maktabah Al-Ma’aarif 1st edition

[3] Mirqaatul Mafaateeh Sharh Miishkaat Al-Masaabeeh 2/428

[4] https://binothaimeen.net/content/11305

[5]Silsilah Al-Hadeeth as-Saheehah 2871

[6] Silsilah Al-Hadeeth As-Saheehah 370

[7] Al-Muwaafaqaat 2/283

[8] Al-Fawaa’id page 166

[9] Majmoo Al-Fataawas 6/510

[10] Tafseer Surah Al-Baqarah 2/299

[11] Majmoo Al-Fataawaa 7/7

Few words from a spouse can mean a lot!

Written by Salafi Dawah Manchester on . Posted in Contemporary Issues, Family & Women, Marriage (Nikkah), Morals and Manners - 'Akhlaaq'.

In The Name of Allah, The Most Merciful, The Bestower of Mercy.

I thank Allah for all the blessings in my life, and you are among the most cherished of those gifts—a steadfast and loyal spouse. You are the other parent of my dear children and a constant source of support through both joyful and challenging times, by Allah’s grace. Like a vibrant tree, you have nurtured our family with deep roots that unite us all. In your comforting presence, I find determination when facing challenges and a moment of reassurance by the Tawfiq of Allah. I ask Allah the Almighty to bestow His mercy and blessings upon you, my devoted companion and friend. I also ask Allah to shield us from the schemes of shaytan, who relentlessly tries to disrupt the bond between those who love each other for His sake… Aameen.

Ahlus Sunnah Command with Noble Manners and Forbid Lowly Manners – Al-Allāmah ‘Ubayd Al-Jābirī

Written by abuaisha on . Posted in Articles, Basics, Brotherhood, Family & Women, Morals and Manners - 'Akhlaaq'.

Al-Allāmah ‘Ubayd Al-Jābirī (rahimahullāh) in his explanation of Al-Aqīdatu Al-Wāsatiyyah said,

“Ahlus Sunnah command with noble manners and forbid lowly manners.”

What are examples of noble manners?

“Noble lofty manners such as truthfulness, justice and humility.”

What are examples of reprehensible manners?

“Reprehensible blameworthy manners such as lying, cursing, reviling, defamation and false accusations.”

Al-Allāmah ‘Ubayd Al-Jābirī (rahimahullāh) then quoted these two hadith:

Reported by Anas (Allah be pleased with him) that he said, The Prophet (ﷺ) was not one who would abuse (others) or say obscene words, or curse (others), and if he wanted to admonish one of us, he used to say: “What is wrong with him, his forehead be dusted!” (1)

On the authority of Ā’isha that, “The Prophet was not indecent, nor obscene, nor would he shout in the markets. He would not repay an evil deed with an evil deed, rather he would pardon and overlook.” (2)

Al-Qutūf al-Janīyatu fī Sharh al-Aqīdati al-Wāsatiyya pgs. 405-406

(1) Bukhari 6031
(2) Tirmidhi 2016 – Authenticated by Al-Albāni

 

Still Love Your Wife or Find Her Attractive After So Many Years?!

Written by abumuaawiyah on . Posted in Basics, Family & Women, Marriage (Nikkah), Methodology - 'Manhaj', Morals and Manners - 'Akhlaaq', Pearls of Wisdom, Purification of The Soul, Qur'aan, Scholars of Islam, Uncategorized, Worship - 'Ibaadah'.

In The Name of Allah, The Most Merciful, The Bestower of Mercy.

Neither Husbands Nor Wives Are Perfect

Allah, The Exalted, says:

فَإِن كَرِهۡتُمُوهُنَّ فَعَسَىٰٓ أَن تَكۡرَهُواْ شَيۡـًٔ۬ا وَيَجۡعَلَ ٱللَّهُ فِيهِ خَيۡرً۬ا ڪَثِيرً۬ا 

If you dislike them (i.e. your wives), it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great deal of good]. [An-Nisa. 19]

Imam Ibn Al-Qayyim, may Allah have mercy upon him, said:

A person may harbour a dislike for a woman based on a particular characteristic, despite the presence of a great deal of good in maintaining the relationship, but he does not know. He may love a woman due to one of her characteristics, while maintaining the relationship would bring considerable evil but he does not know. The human being is as it has been described by his Creator: “Verily, he (man) was unjust (to himself) and ignorant (of its results). [Al-Ahzab 72]

It is therefore unbefitting that he places his love, aversion and hatred as a standard for determining what is beneficial or harmful to him. Instead, the true measure lies in the commandments and prohibitions that Allah has ordained for him. The most beneficial course of action – without exception – for him is to obey his Lord, both in outward conduct and his inner self (thoughts). The most detrimental actions for him are those of disobedience to his Lord, both in outward conduct and his inner self. Should he commit to sincere obedience and servitude to Allah, he will find that even the disliked things he encounters are better for him; whereas, if he turns away from such obedience, everything he loves is bad for him. Therefore, one who possesses sound knowledge regarding his Lord, along with knowledge of the Names and Attributes of his Lord, recognises with certainty that there are significant benefits and advantages hidden within the trials and adversities he faces, which he may not be able to fully comprehend through mere knowledge and reflection. In fact, the benefits and welfare available to a servant of Allah in what he detests far exceed those found in what he loves. [Al-Fawaa’id: page: 145]

Looking at The One Proposed For Marriage and Beauty Is In The Eye of The Beholder

Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him, said, “I was with the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, when a man came and told him that he had married a woman of the Ansaar. Allah’s Messenger [peace and blessings of Allah be upon him] said to him, ‘Have you seen her?’ He said, ‘No’. He said, ‘Go and look at her, because there is something in the eyes of the Ansaar'”. [Sahih Muslim. 1424]

Regarding the statement, “Because there is something in the eyes of the Ansaar”, Imam An-Nawawi, may Allah have mercy upon him, said, “It is said that the intent behind this is Small-eyed and it is said that it is Bleary-eyed”. (1)

Mughirah Bin Shubah, may Allah be pleased with him, said, “I came to the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, and told him of a woman to whom I had to propose marriage. He said, ‘Go and look at her, because that is more likely to create love between you.’ So, I went to a woman among the Ansar and proposed marriage through her parents. I told them what the Prophet had said, and it was as if they did not like that. Then I heard that woman behind her curtain, saying, ‘If the Messenger of Allah has told you to do that, then do it, otherwise I adjure you by Allah (not to do so)’. And it was as if she regarded that as a serious matter. So I looked at her and married her.” And he (Mughirah) mentioned how well he got along with her. (2)

After seeing the one you want to marry and decide to go ahead because she is beautiful in your eyes as beauty is in the eye of the beholder, then ask Allah sincerely to place genuine love, compassion, mercy and respect between you, as Allah [The Most High] said:

وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوا إلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً إنَّ فِي ذَلِكَ لآيَاتٍ لِّقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ

And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect. [Ar-Rum. 21]

Allah, The Exalted, says: [وَٱلَّذِينَ يَقُولُونَ رَبَّنَا هَبۡ لَنَا مِنۡ أَزۡوَٲجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّـٰتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعۡيُنٍ۬ وَٱجۡعَلۡنَا لِلۡمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا – And those who say: Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders for the pious]. [Al-Furqan. 74]

Imaam Ibn Al-Qayyim, may Allah have mercy upon him, said, “They ask Allah to grant them the comfort of the eye by making their wives and offspring obedient to Allah, and to grant them happiness in their hearts due to being followed by the righteous in obedience and servitude to Allah. That is because a trustworthy leader in the religion co-operates upon obedience (to Allah and His Messenger), and that is to call to (sound) leadership in the religion, whose foundation is patience and certainty, as Allah, The Most High, says:

[ وَجَعَلۡنَا مِنۡہُمۡ أَٮِٕمَّةً۬ يَہۡدُونَ بِأَمۡرِنَا لَمَّا صَبَرُواْ‌ۖ وَڪَانُواْ بِـَٔايَـٰتِنَا يُوقِنُونَ – And We made from among them (Children of Israel), leaders, giving guidance under Our Command, when they were patient and used to believe with certainty in Our Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.). Thus, in their supplication -[in Surah Al-Furqan verse 74]- to Allah that He makes them leaders of the righteous people, is that Allah guides them, grants them success, bless them with beneficial knowledge and righteous actions- outwardly and inwardly – without which (sound) leadership in the religion cannot be achieved”. (3)

Then strive to live your life based on the guidance of the infallible Qur’an and Sunnah, return to them – in all your affairs – and to the upright scholars and elders in all circumstances. Strive to know your wife’s character and let your household be that of mercy, sincere advice and harmony. Aa’isha, may Allah be pleased with her, narrated that Allah’s Messenger, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said to her, “O Aa’isha! Be gentle, for indeed when Allah wishes good for a household, He guides them to gentleness”.

Al-Allamah Zaid Bin Hadi Al-Mad’khali, may Allah have mercy upon him] said, “This hadeeth contains proof regarding the fact that it is obligatory to give sincere advice and the first people one should give sincere advice is the members of the household- the wives, sons, daughters and others. Also this hadeeth contains proof regarding the virtue of gentleness in all affairs, for indeed gentleness is not found in any affair except that it beautifies it, and it is not removed from anything except that it damages it. On the other hand, the opposite of gentleness is warn against and it is the harshness that is applied in other than its rightful place, because its end result will be alienation and disharmony”. (4)

Aa’isha, may Allah be pleased with her, narrated that Allah’s Messenger, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said to her, “I know when you are pleased with me or angry with me”. I said, “When do you know that?” He said, “When you are pleased with me, you say, ‘No, by the Lord of Muhammad,’ but when you are angry with me, then you say, ‘No, by the Lord of Abrahim.’ ” Thereupon I said, “Yes, (certainly, you are right); but by Allah, O Allah’s Messenger, I do not leave anything else besides your name”.

Benefits From This Hadeeth

A man’s thorough observation regarding the state of a woman due to her action, speech, inclination or lack of inclination towards him based on indications, because the Prophet [peace and blessings of Allah be upon him] firmly determined Aa’isha’s happiness or anger merely when she mentioned or refrain from mentioning his name; therefore, he judged the two situations based on the mention or the absence of a mention of his name as an indication of happiness or anger. It can also be definitely the case that there is something more explicit regarding this affair, but he did not say it.

And regarding the statement of Aa’isha, “Yes (certainly, you are right); but by Allah, O Allah’s Messenger, I do not leave anything else besides your name”. At-Teebee said, “This is a very subtle way of making an exception, because she related that when she is in a state of anger – a state in which a sane person loses his senses by choice, her affirmed love for the Messenger does not change.

Ibn Al-Muneer said, “What Aa’isha intended is that she left out the wording of the Prophet’s name but her heart’s pure love and affection towards the noble person of the Prophet does not leave her.

With regards to the choice Aa’isha made to use Prophet Ibrahim’s, peace be upon him, name instead of the other Prophet’s, this is proof regarding her intelligence because the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, is the one with the best claim to Ibrahim just as Allah stated in the Qur’an. Therefore, when she had no other way of leaving a noble name, she replaced it with the name of someone who is from the one whose name she left out, so that her heart does not exit the boundaries of that attachment. (5)

This is what we ask Allah for even when our wives are not happy with us due to some misunderstanding or disagreement – still loving us just as we love them regardless of their physical appearance after they’ve gone past the age of youth – forty and above. They are the ones who carried our children, whilst enduring great and severe difficulty during pregnancy, then the great difficulty of childbirth, breast feeding and baby-sitting. These difficulties -as Imam As Sadi stated – did not only last for a short period, an hour or two; rather its time period was thirty months. And in most cases the period of pregnancy is nine months or (a bit less or more), and then breast feeding during the remaining months after childbirth. (a) It would be enough to respect our wives and appreciate their patience after witnessing a single child birth! The one who bore this severe pain to deliver our beloved children deserves to be looked at with great admiration, compassion and respect- an affair that should be given paramount importance over that outward beauty that is no longer the same as when she was younger; and in addition to this, why do we not ask ourselves whether they still find us attractive after our youth has elapsed?! Marriage is not lust and the woman is not just pleasure and enjoyment! https://salafidawah.uk/2014/06/13/reminder-marriage-is-not-lust-and-the-woman-is-not-just-pleasure-and-enjoyment/

The wives who gave birth to our beloved children, nieces, nephews and grand children, and took care of them; guard our wealth and honour, guard their chastity and honour, indeed none asks – with amazement – whether their husbands still find them attractive after years of marriage, sacrifice and patience, except an ingrate- one who neither fully understands the real purpose of marriage and companionship nor what beauty is in reality. The Prophet [peace and blessings of Allah be upon him] said, “He who does not thank the people is not thankful to Allah”. (6)

Imam Abdul Azeez Bin Baz, may Allah have mercy upon him, stated about this hadeeth: “Whoever – from his traits and character – does not thank people for their good behaviour and kindness towards him, then he is not thankful to Allah due to his evil and rough behaviour, because indeed he is most likely in such a situation not to thank Allah. Therefore, that which is obligated on a believer is to be thankful to the one who does good to him among his relatives and others. And just as it is obligated on him to thank Allah for the good bestowed on him, it is also obligated on him to thank the people for their good behaviour and kindness towards him. Allah [جل وعلا] loves that His servants thank those who are good to them and that they return good with good. The Prophet [peace and blessings of Allah be upon him] said, “Whoever does good to you, pay him back. If you cannot find something to give in return, then supplicate for him until he sees that you have indeed repaid him”. (7) And due to this, it is legislated for the believer (in the Shariah) to supplicate for the one who supplicates for him, respond with kindness to the one who did good to him, commend him with good in return for his kindness to him and do good to him. This is from good manners and good deeds”. (8)

Indeed, these women are a blessing and only a fool gets bored with Allah’s blessings, as Imam Ibn Al-Qayyim stated, “One of the common hidden afflictions is when a person has a blessing bestowed on him by Allah; but he becomes bored with it, seeks to do away with it, and – due to ignorance- turns to what he claims is better for him than it. His Lord – out of Mercy- does not remove him from that blessing- excuses him for his ignorance and the bad choice he makes for himself, until he becomes fed up with the blessing, angered and dissatisfied due to it, and being fed up becomes firmly established; then Allah takes it away from him. After turning to what he sought after and then see the difference between the state he used to be in as opposed to his affair at present, his anxiety and regret intensifies, so he seeks to return to the state he was in. There is nothing more harmful to the servant than being fed up with Allah’s blessings, because neither does he see it as a blessing nor thank Allah him for it, nor rejoice regarding it; but rather it angers him. He complains and considers it a calamity, even though it is one of Allah’s greatest blessings conferred on him. The majority of the people are enemies of Allah’s blessings and they do not realise the blessings Allah has made available at their disposal, whilst striving to repel and reject them out of ignorance and wrongdoing. And how numerous a blessing is granted to one of them, whilst he is eager to strive his hardest to repel it! And how much reaches him while he was eager to repel and remove it due to his injustice and ignorance! Allah [The Exalted] says:

[ذَٲلِكَ بِأَنَّ ٱللَّهَ لَمۡ يَكُ مُغَيِّرً۬ا نِّعۡمَةً أَنۡعَمَهَا عَلَىٰ قَوۡمٍ حَتَّىٰ يُغَيِّرُواْ مَا بِأَنفُسِہِمۡ‌ۙ – That is so because Allah will never change a grace which He has bestowed on a people until they change what is in their ownselves]. [Al-Anfal. 53]

Allah, The Exalted, says: [إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ لَا يُغَيِّرُ مَا بِقَوۡمٍ حَتَّىٰ يُغَيِّرُواْ مَا بِأَنفُسِہِمۡ‌ۗ – Verily! Allah will not change the good condition of a people as long as they do not change their state of goodness themselves (by committing sins and by being ungrateful and disobedient to Allah)]. [Surah Rad. Verse 11]

There is not a greater enemy against a blessing than the soul that (whispers evil to the person), because he overcomes himself together with his enemy. His enemy throws fire on his blessings while he blows on it – enables him to throw fire and then helps him to blow it. (9)

We ask Allah to preserve our wives for us and preserve us for them, overlook our shortcomings and bestow abundant mercy upon us, our parents and families. We ask Allah to include us amongst those who are grateful and thankful to Him and the people Aameen.

a: Tafseer Surah Al-Ahqaaf, Aayah 15

[1]: Sharh Saheeh Muslim. Vol 9. page 179. Publisher. Dar Kutub Al-Ilmiyyah. 1st Edition 1421AH (Year 2000)]

[2]: Saheeh Ibn Maajah 1866]

[3]: An Excerpt from ‘Ar-Rooh’ pages 487-489. slightly paraphrased]

[4]: At-ta’leeqaat Al-Maleehah Alaa Silsilah Al-Ahaadeeth As-Saheehah. Vol 1 page 277. Slightly paraphrased]

[5]: An Excerpt from Fat-hul Baari Sharh Saheeh Al-Bukhaari Hadeeth 5228. Vol 9, Pages 404- 405. Slightly paraphrased. Publisher. Daarus Salaam. 1st Edition 1421AH [Year 2000]

[6]: Sunan Abu Dawud. Number 4811]

[7]: Declared Saheeh By Imaam Al-Albaanee in ‘Irwaa al-Ghaleel. Number 1617]

[8]:https://binbaz.org.sa/fatwas/15472/%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%AD%D9%83%D9%85-%D8%B9%D9%84%D9%89-%D8%AD%D8%AF%D9%8A%D8%AB-%D9%85%D9%86-%D9%84%D8%A7-%D9%8A%D8%B4%D9%83%D8%B1-%D8%A7%D9%84%D9%86%D8%A7%D8%B3-%D9%88%D9%85%D8%B9%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%87 paraphrased]

[9]: Al-Fawaa’id 259-260.]