Be selective who you confide in
In The Name of Allah, The Most Merciful, The Bestower of Mercy.
Be selective who you confide in, even if someone shows agreement, as some may transmit to initiate rancour, distrust or suspicion between people
Narrated Anas Ibn Malik, may Allah be pleased with him, that the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said, “Do you know what Al-Ad’hu is [i.e. calumny]?” They said, “Allah and His Messenger know best”. He said, “Transmitting speech from some people to another people to destroy their (mutual relationships)”.
Al-Allamah Zayd Bin Haadi Al-Madkhali, may Allah have mercy upon him, said, “The subject matter of this hadith is about the dangerous (consequences) of tale-carrying in this worldl and the hereafter. Indeed, the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, called it Ad’hu, and the meaning of Ad’hu is to transmit speech from some people to other people to corrupt their relationships. And in the hadith of Ibn Mas’ud, may Allah be pleased with him, it is explained to mean tale-carrying, and that is to transmit the statement of one person to another person, or from a group of people to another group, or from one country to another one, to cause corruption.
This is one of the major sins due to its evil and the punishment (associated with it) in this life and the next. In this worldly life, it may lead to murder, chaos, and other similar affairs – events that are in opposition to rectification. Due to this, the scholars say that the tale carrier- the one who transmits speech from one person to another person, or from a group of people to another group, or from one country to another, to sow the seeds of corruption- causes more harm than a magician. This is because a magician might only harm one person, but as for the tale-carrier, he might harm many individuals and the trial is prolonged.
Therefore, it is forbidden for a Muslim to transmit speech to cause corruption between those upon brotherhood and those who aid one another upon piety. And even if nothing like this [i.e. fighting, chaos, killing, etc] occurs, it is still not permissible to corrupt the relationship between the people by way of lies- sowing the seeds of enmity and hatred between them. The Messenger of Allah went past two graves and then said, “Both of them (i.e. the two people in these graves) are being punished, and they are not being punished due to (committing the greatest of the major sins), but indeed they are great sins. One of them used not to protect himself from being soiled with his urine, and the other one used to go about with tale-carrying”. [at-Taleeqaat Al-Maleehah Alaa Silsilatil Ahaadeeth As-Saheehah’ 1/27-28] [end of quote]
One of the bad behaviours of some people during our teenager years was that they would feign agreement to gain your trust and then transmit your disagreements to someone else whom they knew strongly disagrees with you. This was nothing but treachery regardless of the good character put on by the perpetrator.