“Treat others as you would love to be treated” – Admonitions from Senior Scholars
In The Name of Allah, The Most Merciful, The Bestower of Mercy.
Abdullah Bin Amr, may Allah be pleased with him, reported that Allah’s Messenger, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said, “Whoever would love to be delivered from Hellfire and admitted into Paradise, let him meet his end whilst believing in Allah and the Last Day, and let him treat people as he would love to be treated”. [(1)]
Imam An-Nawawi, may Allah have mercy upon him, said: This is from the Jawami al-Kalim of the Prophet [i.e. precise speech with a comprehensive meaning] and his amazing wisdom. It is obligatory to pay close attention to this important principle and that a person must not deal with the people except in a way he loves to be dealt with. [(2)]
Al-Allamah Zayd Bin Hadi Al-Madkhali, may Allah have mercy upon him, said: A Muslim is to give consideration to his Muslim brothers in the same way he would give consideration to himself- wishing for them the good he wishes for himself and hates that evil should touch them just as he hates that for himself. The one who loves that the people should approach him with good related to the worldly affairs and affairs related to the Afterlife, then it is obligated on him to do the same for them, so that the statement of the Prophet, “You cannot (truly) believe until you wish for your brother what you wish for yourself” becomes a reality in his personality; and also the statement of the Prophet, “The believer in relation to another believer is like a structure, each part strengthening the other”. And also the statement of the Prophet, “The Muslim is the brother of another Muslim”. Whoever is able to have these characteristics, then indeed he has established Iman (in this affair), good manners and good dealings. [(3)]
Imam Ibn Al-Qayyim, may Allah have mercy upon him, said: And from the signs of well-being and success is that whenever the slave is increased in his knowledge, he increases in humility and mercy; and whenever he is increased in action, he increases in his fear and caution; and whenever his age is increased, he decreases in eagerness; and whenever he is increased in wealth, he increases in his generosity and spending; and whenever his status and honour is increased, he increases in coming close to the people, in fulfilling their needs and being humble in (their presence). And the signs of wretchedness are: Whenever he is increased in knowledge, he increases in pride and haughtiness; and whenever he is increased in actions, he increases in his boasting, mockery of the people and having a good opinion of himself; and whenever he is increased in his status and honour, he increases in pride and haughtiness. These affairs of [well-being and wretchedness] are a trial and a test from Allah by way of which He puts His slaves to trial. He brings about well-being and wretchedness to a people by way of these affairs. [(4)]
Imam Muhammad Al-Amin Ash-Shanqeetee, may Allah have mercy upon him, said:
Contemplate what the great leader [Muhammad (peace blessings of Allah be upon him)] has been commanded and how he should deal with his society. Allah, The Most High, said:
فَبِمَا رَحْمَةٍ مِّنَ ٱللَّهِ لِنتَ لَهُمْ وَلَوْ كُنتَ فَظًّا غَلِيظَ ٱلْقَلْبِ لَٱنفَضُّوا۟ مِنْ حَوْلِكَ فَٱعْفُ عَنْهُمْ وَٱسْتَغْفِرْ لَهُمْ وَشَاوِرْهُمْ فِى ٱلْأَمْرِ
And by the Mercy of Allah, you dealt with them gently. And had you been severe and harsh-hearted, they would have broken away from about you; so pass over (their faults), and ask (Allah’s) Forgiveness for them; and consult them in the affairs. [Aal Imran. 159]
Contemplate what a person has been commanded and how he should deal with his leader. Allah [The Most High] said: [يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوٓا۟ أَطِيعُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ وَأَطِيعُوا۟ ٱلرَّسُولَ وَأُو۟لِى ٱلْأَمْرِ مِنكُمْ – O you who believe! Obey Allah and obey the Messenger (Muhammad), and those of you (Muslims) who are in authority]. [An-Nisaa.59] [Footnote a]
Contemplate what a person has been commanded to do (in order to safeguard close members) of his society, such as his children and wife. Allah [The Most High] said:
يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ قُوٓا۟ أَنفُسَكُمْ وَأَهْلِيكُمْ نَارًا وَقُودُهَا ٱلنَّاسُ وَٱلْحِجَارَةُ عَلَيْهَا مَلَٰٓئِكَةٌ غِلَاظٌ شِدَادٌ لَّا يَعْصُونَ ٱللَّهَ مَآ أَمَرَهُمْ وَيَفْعَلُونَ مَا يُؤْمَرُونَ
O you who believe! Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe, who disobey not, (from executing) the Commands they receive from Allah, but do that which they are commanded. [at-Tahreem. 6]
Contemplate how (the Qur’an) has informed the person about cautiousness and resoluteness when dealing his (close) social group in particular- that if he comes across what is not befitting, he is commanded to pardon and forgive. Firstly, the Qur’an commands him to be cautious and resolute, and secondly, it commands him to pardon and forgive. Allah [The Most High] said:
يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوٓا۟ إِنَّ مِنْ أَزْوَٰجِكُمْ وَأَوْلَٰدِكُمْ عَدُوًّا لَّكُمْ فَٱحْذَرُوهُمْ وَإِن تَعْفُوا۟ وَتَصْفَحُوا۟ وَتَغْفِرُوا۟ فَإِنَّ ٱللَّهَ غَفُورٌ رَّحِيمٌ
O you who believe! Verily, among your wives and your children there are enemies for you (i.e. may stop you from the obedience of Allah), therefore beware of them! But if you pardon (them) and overlook, and forgive (their faults), then verily, Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. [at-Taghabun. 14]
Contemplate how individuals in society have been commanded to deal with one another in general. Allah (The Most High) said:
إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ يَأْمُرُ بِٱلْعَدْلِ وَٱلْإِحْسَٰنِ وَإِيتَآئِ ذِى ٱلْقُرْبَىٰ وَيَنْهَىٰ عَنِ ٱلْفَحْشَآءِ وَٱلْمُنكَرِ وَٱلْبَغْىِ يَعِظُكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَذَكَّرُونَ
Verily, Allah enjoins Al-Adl (i.e. justice and worshipping none but Allah Alone – Islamic Monotheism) and Al-Ihsan [i.e. to be patient in performing your duties to Allah, totally for Allah’s sake and in accordance with the Sunnah (legal ways) of the Prophet in a perfect manner], and giving (help) to kith and kin (i.e. all that Allah has ordered you to give them e.g., wealth, visiting, looking after them, or any other kind of help, etc.): and forbids Al-Fahsha’ (i.e. all evil deeds, e.g. illegal sexual acts, disobedience of parents, polytheism, to tell lies, to give false witness, to kill a life without right, etc.), and Al-Munkar (i.e. all that is prohibited by Islamic law: polytheism of every kind, disbelief and every kind of evil deeds, etc.), and Al-Baghy (i.e. all kinds of oppression), He admonishes you, that you may take heed. [An-Nahl. 90]
Allah [The Most High] said: [يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ ٱجْتَنِبُوا۟ كَثِيرًا مِّنَ ٱلظَّنِّ إِنَّ بَعْضَ ٱلظَّنِّ إِثْمٌ وَلَا تَجَسَّسُوا۟ وَلَا يَغْتَب بَّعْضُكُم بَعْضًا – O you who believe! Avoid much suspicions, indeed some suspicions are sins. And spy not, neither backbite one another.[Al-Hujuraat. 12] [Footnote b]
Allah said:
يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ لَا يَسْخَرْ قَوْمٌ مِّن قَوْمٍ عَسَىٰٓ أَن يَكُونُوا۟ خَيْرًا مِّنْهُمْ وَلَا نِسَآءٌ مِّن نِّسَآءٍ عَسَىٰٓ أَن يَكُنَّ خَيْرًا مِّنْهُنَّ وَلَا تَلْمِزُوٓا۟ أَنفُسَكُمْ وَلَا تَنَابَزُوا۟ بِٱلْأَلْقَٰبِ بِئْسَ ٱلِٱسْمُ ٱلْفُسُوقُ بَعْدَ ٱلْإِيمَٰنِ وَمَن لَّمْ يَتُبْ فَأُو۟لَٰٓئِكَ هُمُ ٱلظَّٰلِمُونَ
O you who believe! Let not a group scoff at another group, it may be that the latter are better than the former; nor let (some) women scoff at other women, it may be that the latter are better than the former, nor defame one another, nor insult one another by nicknames. How bad is it, to insult one’s brother after having Faith [i.e. to call your Muslim brother (a faithful believer) as: “O sinner”, or “O wicked”, etc.]. And whosoever does not repent, then such are indeed Zalimun (wrong-doers, etc.). [Al-Hujuraat. 11]
Allah said:
وَتَعَاوَنُوا۟ عَلَى ٱلْبِرِّ وَٱلتَّقْوَىٰ وَلَا تَعَاوَنُوا۟ عَلَى ٱلْإِثْمِ وَٱلْعُدْوَٰنِ
Help you one another in Al-Birr and At-Taqwa (virtue, righteousness and piety); but do not help one another in sin and transgression. [Al-Maa’idah. 2] [Footnote c]
Allah said: [إِنَّمَا ٱلْمُؤْمِنُونَ إِخْوَةٌ – The believers are nothing else than brothers (in Islamic religion). [Al-Hujuraat. 10]
Allah said: [وَأَمْرُهُمْ شُورَىٰ بَيْنَهُمْ – And who (conduct) their affairs by mutual consultation. [Ash-Shuraa 38] [Footnote d]
When it is the case that the individuals of a society are not safe – regardless who they may be-from the hostility and enmity of others in their Jinn or human society, and it is the case that every individual is in need of a remedy for this problem whose trial affects everyone, therefore Allah [The Most High] clearly prescribed its remedy in three places in His Book. The remedy for human hostility is that (a person) should turn away from the hostile one and responds to them with what is better. Allah [The Most High] said in Surah Al-A’raf 199: [خُذِ ٱلْعَفْوَ وَأْمُرْ بِٱلْعُرْفِ وَأَعْرِضْ عَنِ ٱلْجَٰهِلِينَ – Show forgiveness, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the foolish (i.e. don’t punish them].
Allah said Surah Al-Muminun 96: [ٱدْفَعْ بِٱلَّتِى هِىَ أَحْسَنُ ٱلسَّيِّئَةَ نَحْنُ أَعْلَمُ بِمَا يَصِفُونَ – Repel evil with that which is better. We are Best-Acquainted with the things they utter].
Allah [The Most High] made it more evident that this divine remedy cuts off this satanic ailment and He also made it more (evident) that this divine (remedy) is not bestowed upon every person, except a person who has been granted in abundance and a great portion (of the happiness in the Hereafter). Allah [The Most High] said:
ٱدْفَعْ بِٱلَّتِى هِىَ أَحْسَنُ فَإِذَا ٱلَّذِى بَيْنَكَ وَبَيْنَهُۥ عَدَٰوَةٌ كَأَنَّهُۥ وَلِىٌّ حَمِيمٌ
وَمَا يُلَقَّىٰهَآ إِلَّا ٱلَّذِينَ صَبَرُوا۟ وَمَا يُلَقَّىٰهَآ إِلَّا ذُو حَظٍّ عَظِيمٍ
Repel (the evil) with one which is better (i.e. Allah ordered the faithful believers to be patient at the time of anger, and to excuse those who treat them badly), then verily! he, between whom and you there was enmity, (will become) as though he was a close friend. But none is granted it (the above quality) except those who are patient, and none is granted it except the owner of the great portion (of the happiness in the Hereafter i.e. Paradise and in this world of a high moral character)” [Fussilat. 34-35]
And there is no remedy against a devil amongst the Jinn except through seeking refuge with Allah. Allah [The Most High] said: [وَإِمَّا يَنزَغَنَّكَ مِنَ ٱلشَّيْطَٰنِ نَزْغٌ فَٱسْتَعِذْ بِٱللَّهِ إِنَّهُۥ سَمِيعٌ عَلِيمٌ – And if an evil whisper comes to you from Shaitan (Satan) then seek refuge with Allah. Verily, He is All-Hearer, All-Knower]. [Al-A’raf 200]
Allah [The Most High] said Surah Al-Muminun 97-98]:
وَقُل رَّبِّ أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ هَمَزَٰتِ ٱلشَّيَٰطِينِ
وَأَعُوذُ بِكَ رَبِّ أَن يَحْضُرُونِ
And say: “My Lord! I seek refuge with You from the whisperings (suggestions) of the Shayatin (devils). “And I seek refuge with You, My Lord! lest they may attend (or come near) me.”
Allah [The Most High] said:
وَإِمَّا يَنزَغَنَّكَ مِنَ ٱلشَّيْطَٰنِ نَزْغٌ فَٱسْتَعِذْ بِٱللَّهِ إِنَّهُۥ هُوَ ٱلسَّمِيعُ ٱلْعَلِيمُ
And if an evil whisper from Shaitan (Satan) tries to turn you away (O Muhammad) (from doing good, etc.), then seek refuge in Allah. Verily, He is the All-Hearer, the All-Knower. [Fussilat, 36] [An Excerpt from ‘Al-Islam Deenun Kaamilun. Pages: 10-12]
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Footnote a:
Believer’s Bahaviour Towards Muslim Rulers – [Supplicates For Them….]
Footnote b:
Imam As-Sadi, may Allah have mercy upon him, said: Allah [The Most High] has forbidden much evil suspicion towards the believers because some suspicions are sins, such as the suspicion devoid of reality and factual evidence, and the suspicion accompanied by much forbidden speech and action, for indeed the settlement of evil suspicion in the heart does not restrict the one (in whose heart is that evil suspicion) only to that; rather, he does not cease until he utters and does that which is not permissible. [Tafseer As-Sadi]
Imam Muhammad Ibn Salih Al-Uthaymeen, may Allah have mercy upon him, said: Not every suspicion is a sin and there is no harm regarding the suspicion that is based on clear indications regarding the validity of a matter. As for mere assumption, it is not permissible. For example, if a man – who is known to be upright – is seen with a woman by another man, it not permissible to accuse him that the woman he is seen with is a stranger because this is the type of suspicion that is tantamount to sin. [Fataawaa Islaamiyyah 4/537]
Spying: The Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said, “Whoever listens to the talk of some people who do not like him (to listen) or they run away from him, then molten lead will be poured into his ears on the Day of Resurrection”. [Sahih Al-Bukhaari Number 7042].
Al-Allaamah Saleh Al-Fawzan, may Allah preserve him, said, “This is a severe threat, so one should not listen to the speech of the people if they do not want anyone to know what they are talking about”. [An Excerpt from It’haaf At-Tullaab Bi-Sharhi Mandhoomah Al-Aadaab. page 149]
Al-Allamah Zayd Bin Hadi Al-Mad’khalee, may Allah have mercy upon him, said:
It may be that two or more people gather to speak about a particular affair that concerns them, and they do not want anyone else to know about it; but then a person or more than one person becomes an obstacle by listening to their speech and [wants] to know what they are talking about, whilst they are not pleased with that. This is an act of transgression and foolishness – that a person involves himself into something that does not concern him. And from the perfection of a person’s Islam is to leave that which does not concern him. However, there is an exception to this prohibition such as when a person listens into the speech of those who are focused or (involved) in seeking to breach the state of safety and security of the Muslims”. [An Excerpt from ‘Awnul Ahadis Samad Sharh Al-Adabil Mufrad’ 3/281]
Backbiting: Abu Hurairah, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said, ‘’Do you know what backbiting is?’’ They (i.e. the Sahaabah) replied Allah and his Messenger know best’’; he said said, “It is to mention your brother what he dislikes’’. Someone asked, ‘’What if what I said is true?’’ He replied, “If what you said about him is true you have backbitten him, and if it is not true you have slandered him’’. [Muslim]
When is speaking about someone behind his back not considered backbiting? It is not considered backbiting when a person makes a complaint about an oppressor to a person who has the ability to stop the oppression; when seeking help to stop an evil- by making that known to the person who has the ability to stop the evil; when seeking for a fatwa; when warning the Muslims so that they are not deceived; when mentioning a person who commits his evil openly or one who calls to bidah and when identifying someone with a physical defect, whilst not intending defamation. [Subul As-Salaam. 4/553]
Footnote c:
Imam Ibn Al-Qayyim, may Allah have mercy upon him, said: This verse contains all the Masaalih (things that will bring about benefit and repel harm) for the servants of Allah in their worldly affairs and in the Hereafter – amongst themselves or reharding their relationship with their Lord. This is because every servant of Allah finds himself within two circumstances and obligations – either to fulfil the obligations owed to Allah or the obligations owed to Allah’s creation. As for the obligations owed to the creation, they include (righteous) association, companionship, aiding one another in Allah loves and obedience to Allah, and that is the goal behind one’s search for happiness and success in the afterlife. There can be no happiness in the afterlife except through Bir and Taqwaa because it is basis of all affairs of the religion. [An Excerpt from Bada’i at-Tafsir Al-Jaami Limaa Fassarahu Al-Imam Ibn Al-Qayyim Al-Jawziyyah. 1/307. Publisher: Daar Ibn Al-Jawziyyah 2nd Edition. 1431AH]
Footnote d:
Consultation: Al-Hasan al-Basree [may Allah have mercy upon him] said: “By Allah! Never have a people sought advice except that they were guided to the best of what was available to them.” Then he recited [the statement of Allaah]: [وَأَمۡرُهُمۡ شُورَىٰ بَيۡنَہُمۡ – And (the Believers) who (conduct) their affairs by mutual consultation].
Al-Allamah Zaid Bin Haadee Al-Mad’khalee [may Allah have mercy upon him] said: Allah [The Mighty and Majestic] commanded His Messenger Muhammad [peace and blessings of Allah be upon him] to consult his companions in some affairs. Allah [Glorified be He and free is He from all imperfections] said:
[وَشَاوِرۡهُمۡ فِى ٱلۡأَمۡرِۖ فَإِذَا عَزَمۡتَ فَتَوَكَّلۡ عَلَى ٱللَّهِۚ – and consult them in the affairs. Then when you have taken a decision, put your trust in Allah.
He [i.e. the Messenger] is the example to be followed by the Ummah, therefore when it is the case that Allah commanded him to consult his companions, then there is even a greater reason that the Muslims are in need of consultation amongst themselves. When a difficulty that is related to a Muslim’s religious and worldly affairs occurs, then indeed it is fitting that he consults someone whom he considers reliable, wise, truthful and sincere. He examines [the advice] given by that person, then he makes a choice – either to take that advice or decides not to take it based on what he is satisfied with, in relation to his personal affairs.
The hadeeth places emphasis on the fact that consultation guides to the best outcomes, and due to this it is said: ”The one who consults [others] does not regret [thereafter InShaaAllaah] and the one who performs Istikhaarah will not fail [to achieve good]”. Both Istikhaarah and consultation are legislated and a lot of good is achieved by way of them, as opposed to when affairs are pursued in a rigid and haphazard manner, for indeed this might lead to regret and harm. [An Excerpt from ‘Awnul Ahadis Samad Sharh Al-Adab Al-Mufrad’ 1/285]
[1] Ṣaḥih Muslim 1844]
[2] Sharh Sahih Muslim 12/196
[3] at-Ta’leeqaat Al-Maleehah Alaa Silsilati Al-Ahaadeeth As-Saheehah. 2/29-33
[4] Al-Fawaa’d. page: 228